VALENTINE:  Love Yourself First

Yippe! It’s February 14 – a special day set aside to give love a super-recognition!  I’m so excited and very happy to share my mind with you on this day.

I don’t know if you have heard this before – hurting people hurt people.  Do you agree with this?

You know, I have spent several of my years in life working on helping people without a lot of focus on helping myself first – though it may seem noble but hey, it may end up being a waste of God’s resources, just because you may end up shortening your own life and not fulfilling to the maximum your core purpose of existence.  If you think you have engaged in a lot of self-sacrifice, I like to ask you this, what does it look like to put someone else’s interests before your own, value others and their well-being to the extent that you choose to sacrificially serve them at their point of need?  Please share your response as a comment below, just after reading this article to the end.

One of my mentor’s mentor said to him one day, “if you want to be prosperous and happy, you need to learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job.” Now this – the job – can mean different thing to different people, but there’s a common factor – which is, you cannot do your job without people and that’s a fact as no man can be an island.  In my own agreement with reality, the best contribution you can make to someone else is your self-development, not self-sacrifice.  Do not get me wrong; why I said this is that, some experiences and reports from others revealed that Self sacrifice can’ make you become sickening if it is not appropriately managed. If you will agree with me, self development earns more respect than self-sacrifice, even though it ‘can’ also have some side-issues – something we will talk about another time.

So secretly I feared that I was awfully efficient but not as effective as ‘I desired’, I struggled with this for a while, to the point where I was asking some people to help me learn how to stop helping people, but eventually, I had to press the slow-down button myself as I discovered the need to reflect on my life, and then I decided to press the stop button, after which I took a long break to figure out and design my life based on who I am.  Interestingly, I was then able to make the decision to commit to funding my dream with my energy and skills to become who I want to be, instead of giving it all out without caution and leaving myself with almost nothing interesting to me to show for it. And behold I was able to throw myself into turning my passion into a full time career.

That being said, we all face resistance to sitting down and doing the real work first to give us the capacity to carry the weight that our life work will put on us. We often wait too long, using our energy and heads against a problem, when we should walk away or take a break. We forget to take care of ourselves first in chasing the goal, so that our well-being can improve for us to be able to do much more.

If you want to succeed in life, you must learn how to improve your well-being first so that you can have enough power to resist those things that will hold you back while you are living your life.  That’s SIMPLY why you need to love yourself first, deal with emotions that are destructive, damaging, hurtful and so non-effective.  Desire to heal so that you can become whole to love and keep loving.  The reality for me remains that:

Love is giving something you have to someone who doesn’t want it but NEEDS it” Love in reality is an act of meeting needs.  So meet your NEED FOR LOVE first so that you can share it without feeling empty.

A quick one on how to do a check on yourself for fine-tuning

  • If you allow people to always get you angry?
  • If you think or feel like people avoid you?
  • If you think they hold back for fear of your reaction?

Then, you need to pay attention to your need.

Bear in mind, when you don’t heal, you hurt, when you don’t forgive others, you hurt, and when you don’t forgive yourself, you hurt. This is true in all areas of life – whether it’s in relationships, your spiritual life, work and your physical body.

Thank you so much for stopping by, I trust that you have learnt one or more things from this article; I await your comments below, your likes and shares with your friends & family.  And if you feel the need to write me on this subject or would like me to discuss a certain topic in the areas of relationship, finance, investment, health & wellness, and being socially responsible, please send me an email via

You’re amazing and I see you advancing beyond your now!

5 thoughts on “VALENTINE:  Love Yourself First

    1. Thank you Juliet. Please use any of the share buttons that have now been added to the post. And don’t forget to invite yours to read and share also. Hope you had a Super-Duper celebration of love. Cheers!

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